Friday, May 26, 2006

The World's Dumbest Toy

I know the Easy Bake Oven is supposed to be a "classic" American toy. It has been around since the 60's and little girls (mostly, since that's who it is marketed towards)all over this great country of ours have been making cakes and other baked goods under a light bulb ever since. However, I think this is quite possibly the DUMBEST toy ever. No, this is not a bitter rant about the fact that I never had one of these (I didn't. My mother thought this was the DUMBEST toy EVER). My daughter does have one, and no, I didn't buy it for her. She won money in a drawing and I let her spend it on whatever she wanted. The packaging makes it look so fun (different from the picture here)- it's a fun pink color, looks kind of like a real microwave or convection oven. It comes with little metal pans and pink mixing tools that bear absolutely no resemblance to any kitchen utensil I've ever seen. And with all of this, comes 2 small packets of cookie mix. Small as in the size of individual packets of hot chocolate small. The directions say to preheat for 15 minutes. Most children do not want to wait that long to bake. Then, they are supposed to mix said mix with 3/4 of a teaspoon of water. Have you ever seen how much water that isn't? After the mixing, they are to put the "dough" in one of the pans that has been sprayed with cooking spray. There is this long, pink (of course) tool, the likes of which I have NEVER seen in any kitchen or bakery, that shoves the pan in the SIDE of the oven- not even the front, the door is fake- and "bake" for 10 minutes.(Actually, the one pictured here looks like forceps.) THEN, they are supposed to shove the pan into the "cooling chamber". (ok, I really don't know for sure if it's called the cooling "chamber" or not, but it's the cooling something.) And THEN after 35 minutes of waiting, waiting, waiting, THEN, your child aged 8+ (that's what it says on the box) can scrape this freshly "baked" cookie out of a minuscule aluminum pan and savor its crispy, sweet, choclaty goodness. I think most children who have had to wait THAT long for a snack will have begun to chew off their own hands at this point.
What to do when the mixes are gone? Well, you can hurry yourself to a KMart-ish type of store and buy you some refills for $4.99. You do get 4 little packages in the big package, but, still.
Who thought up this toy? Who said, "Let's make a toy oven that will bake cookies under a light bulb?" Maybe they were the same people who cook grilled cheese with the iron, or wrap burritoes in foil and put them in the dashboard to warm up all morning....... And WHY should a kitchen appliance EVER be considered a toy?? And I'm not speaking of a safety issue, I'm worried that generations of women have been brainwashed into thinking that an appliance necessary to modern households would ever be considered a "toy"- because as girls we like toys, then we get older and we like us some bling! And if I ever got a toaster, or a blender, or a garbage disposal as a birthday present when expecting , say , a Coach purse, or a bottle of Chanel, that would just NOT fly, people. What are we doing to our girls???
At any rate, I maintain that the Easy Bake Oven is still the DUMBEST toy ever. If any of you have suggestions of others, I welcome them.
PS: The new versions of the Easy Bake Oven are actually called "Easy Bake Oven and Snack Center." Oy.


Blogger happychyck said...

I would have to agree that this is a stupid toy, but your post brought back memories. Actually, the picture did because that is the exact model Easy Bake Oven I had. In fact, I think my mother still has it in her basement, although I have assured her that there is no need to keep my childhood toys.

Recently my sweetie and I took his kids to buy a toy--a kind of Easter present. We also had to buy swimming suits that day, so after we outfitted the kids, I sent them all off to the toy department while I tried to find one for myself (this is not really a family event kind of thing, as you know, but whle I was there...). When I met up with them later I was skeptical of their toys, which were about $20 each!

The 5-year old chose a some sort of tiny cars on a track thing or something. The cars launch. Go flying through the AIR. My husband said, "Damn! You could poke an eye out with that. If I would have known, that isn't the toys we'd gotten."

The 7-year old chose a doll that is a ballerina. She can stand on her toes, and with this push/pump thing in her crown, she twirls around. She also sings a lame song that gets stuck in your head. How many times do I have to tell my husband not to buy them annoying talking toys that stay at our house. Those type of toys go to their mother's. (I know, I can't help it.) Now this toy isn't terrible, but the doll isn't cuddly, and it isn't multifunctional. I don't like dolls that are too specialized.

Wanna see some stupid toys? Just walk down the aisle at any Wal-Mart. About 75% of the toys are overpriced, cheaply made, pointless, and encourage added consumerism.

5/26/2006 9:38 PM  
Blogger Teacher lady said...

I didn't have the Easy Bake Oven, but I was SO jealous of the hillbilly kids (sorry - I'm being politically incorrect. Is "redneck" better?) who had one. A (possibly?) worse toy for girls - one of my all time favorites: The Mystery Date board game. Ever play it? And how about if you "lose" you get a date with the "dud" - the guy standing at your door with glasses and books!?!

5/29/2006 9:23 PM  
Blogger a thinker said...

I did have an easy bake oven as a kid and it was the best toy ever! You could make individual sized portions of cakes/brownies/what not. If you really want to get your kid something dumb, give em a tv or hey even their own dvd player. Put it in the car too so they can do no thinking whatsoever :)

12/15/2007 6:58 PM  

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