NIMBy-ism (Not In My Belfry)
While I realize your purpose in the whole Circle of Life, your place in the food chain, I must take this opportunity to tell you that you have no place in my home. Yes, I know you eat potentially disease-ridden mosquitoes and other pesky bugs. I also know that you really don't want to be in my bedroom in the middle of the night any more than I want you there.
I'm sorry that our culture has given you a reputation that is often associated with insanity and blindness (ie: batshit crazy, batty, bats in the belfry, blind as a bat). I'm sorry that you are often associated with vampires. I believe, though, you kind of brought that one on yourself- what with your fangs and all- and your wings really do look like a cape.
The local media has had a heyday with your kind- portraying you as rabies-crazed monsters that need to be gotten rid of. I know how it is- a few of your species get something like rabies, and pretty soon you're all labeled. It's like us and AIDS or lice or strep.
I'm sure that you are more much like Stellaluna than your crazy friends we see in movies, flapping around, terrorizing people. (Ok, I don't actually know of any movies offhand where bats terrorize people. You guys just have that image. Sorry about the species profiling.) I think it's cool that the word for you in Spanish has all of the vowels in it. Murcielago. I like using cute images of you as a decorating accent around Halloween. Hey, you even have a superhero created in your image. But, you need to stay the hell away from my house. Sure, the attic is just used for storage. Do you know why? I know you and your friends are up there. I see the mess you leave. I can't very well have my kids play up there on rainy days with the trail of turds you have left up there, now, can I?
Well, my husband hopefully sealed up every inch of the attic to prevent you from getting in. He even tried this stuff, which is basically just mothballs. It worked at our old house where we had one of your distant cousins who knew no boundaries. Yeah, I know it's stinky, but it sure beats a fatal blow to the head with a tennis racquet, no? Why don't you try one of the new bathouses my husband hung on the side of our house? They were custom built to suit your needs- unlike our attic, which was built to suit human needs. They are also much more accessible to your food source, and there are no pesky ceiling fans.
So, is it a deal? You need to go be with your kind. It's time. And, you need to stay the fuck away from the inside of my house. You dig?