The Letter I'd LIKE to Send (only I need this job...)
Dear Miss Snotty Prissy Pants,
While I appreciate the fact that you would like to learn a new language, and I recognize that you are indeed an above average student, I feel that it is necessary to communicate with you the following:
1. You are really kind of a whiny baby and you would do well to learn that the world does not revolve around you.
2. When I tell the class that I don't want them to talk during student presentations, I do in fact mean to include you.
3. I'm sure that you probably knew you were going to be absent to have your mystery surgery well before the one day's notice you gave me. I would have been able to give you much better "make up" work had I known earlier.
4. When I tell you that in your absence, we did some activities in class, you know, for practice and to prepare for the upcoming TEST, curling your lip and saying "Oh." and then walking back to your seat and taking out your copy of The DaVinci Code does not in any way, shape, or form, endear yourself to me. Nor does it make me want to help you understand any of the new material.
5. I do not enjoy seeing the "T" of your thong peek out over the top of your jeans on a daily basis. Either spring for the bigger pair of pants or choose a different undergarment. Because you know what? It's called an undergarment because it's meant to be worn under one's clothing.
6. You can roll your eyes at me until they get stuck in that position, but it will not make me cater to your every whim. Because you know what? I was a teenage girl once and I couldn't stand girls like you.
I hope that this clarifies any confusion you may have, which by the way, wouldn't surprise me, since every time any kind of instruction is being given, you are talking to the girl next to you.
Thank you, and have a nice day.