I'm Just Not That In to Him
Haven't we all been in a relationship that starts out good? You get excited about seeing the other person- you look forward to it, in fact. You imagine what your next encounter will be like. The other person anticipates your needs and wants. It flatters you.
But then, things start to bore you. You start looking elsewhere, and you really like what you see. You start to avoid the other person- even to the extent of pretending you're not home because you just don't want to talk to him.
I've come to a crossroads, my friends. It's time to break up with my Schwan's man. Oh sure, it was great at first- a glossy new catalog with all kinds of tempting treats delivered right to my door every other week. No dinner planned? No problema, dude! What to choose? Pizza? Deep dish or thin crust? Fish -n- Chips? How about some ice cream for dessert? Dulce de Leche or Cookies 'n Cream?
Today, when I turned onto our street, I noticed the huge truck in front our our house. A feeling of dread came over me. I opted to keep driving and took a few spins around the block before coming back home. All this so as not to deal with having to tell him "No, we don't need anything today!"
I definitely won't miss the little orange stickers that name the next date of their arrival. Like we will plan around it? It's frozen food, people. Frozen. Food. We can buy it elsewhere.
So, bye-bye Mr. Schwan's Man! It's been nice, but we need to move on. This relationship is dragging us both down. It's time to see other people.