Tis the season and all that, but I just need to clear the air a bit.
Dear Family Members,
First of all, we did not, in fact, decide to keep 2 cats as pets as a personal affront to you and your allergies. It would seem, however, that you could dose yourselves up with a bit of Benadryl before coming over to our home, instead of asking us if we have any (we don't, why would we?) an hour into your visit. You know we have cats. We've had one for eleven years. Eleven. I do not mean to be crass or callous with regard to said allergy, but we do have several friends who also suffer from a similar allergy and you know what? They come over, they stay as long as they can, and then they leave. Like yours, it is not a severe, anaphelactic (sp?) shock, throat closes up, let the wheezing begin kind of allergy. It's like yours- sneezing, watery eyes, runny nose. Annoying? Yes. Life threatening? No. Worth making a big deal out of? Not really.
Secondly, when you decide to host Christmas at your house because you just can't stand to come to our house because of the cats, don't complain about it. And especially? Don't complain that you have to work the days before Christmas. Hello? Don't we all? And? A meat and cheese tray just isn't going to cut it for Christmas dinner. And if you must serve it all on paper plates, at least make the effort and buy some damn Christmas plates. You should have asked us to bring something so we could have had a nice meal together, it takes no effort whatsoever to make a ham. You're just warming it up, for the love of God.
Thirdly, last year when we decided not to exchange gifts with the adults and only buy for the kids? I thought that decision was from then on til the end of time. So, what the hell? We get gifts this year? And no one told me? So now I feel like the big Grinchy Claus? The year we all exchanged gift cards with each other pretty much summed it up- we should all just save our money and just enjoy getting together.
Fourth. I know you have issues with the wacky aunt. She's a butt-insky and says things that are insane, insensitive and none of her business. But, we are all she's got. It makes us quite uncomfortable when she calls us and asks when's dinner and we have to be really vague and think of something quick because it's obvious you haven't invited her. She remembers everyone's birthday (albeit with some odd gifts sometimes)and just wants to be part of the family, which, technically, as your mother's sister, she is.
Just a word to the wise? Sitting in a room and watching your children play their new video games while we are trying to have nice holiday conversation is really not cool. Nor is the gi-normous television you have in your son's room. Maybe he wouldn't have such behavior problems if he didn't have the option of holing up in his room.
Oh, and maybe save barking at each other for when you're alone and not in a room full of the fam.
Other than that, we all had a wonderful time at your home and can't wait to do it again the next holiday.