Friday, November 16, 2007

Friday Forum #3

Santa:to believe or not to believe? That is the question for today's edition of The Friday Forum.
Daughter Claire is in the 4th grade and is 9 years old. She has a couple of friends who are a little older. After a recent visit with one of them, she informed me, "I feel sorry for her." I asked her why and she replied "She doesn't believe in Santa. She says her parents do all the work." She even kind of shook her head, as in disbelief at her friend's lack of faith. I said that was too bad and she continued with "I've searched the basement- I know it's not you guys!"
Ok, at some point, she will have to know the truth, and in her heart of hearts, she may already. I'm not ready for it- maybe next year. But give me one more year of the magic.
What about you? What do you think about telling/not telling your kids? When did you figure it out? When did your parents know you figured it out? How did you feel about it?
For me, I think I was in 4th grade and still wanted to believe, but knew that logically, it just wasn't so. I wasn't that disappointed, though, because I still got presents and my stocking got filled. I never felt that I'd been lied to- I enjoyed the spirit of it and I still do. There's a teeny part of me that still believes in Santa- even though now I'm the one filling the stockings. I like the thought of some nice, omniscient man bringing gifts in the middle of a cold, dark, winter's night, leaving them at our hearth and asking nothing in return. To me, that is the true spirit of giving- giving with your heart and asking for nothing in return.


Blogger HappyChyck said...

My stepdaughter is about the same age and in the same boat. I don't think she really believes, but she really wants to.

My stepson (age 6) has been so rotten at school and home lately that I'm about the break the magic for him. According to Santa Claus rules, naughty little boys get coal, right? I'd rather him not think that he can be rotten and STILL get presents. I'd rather he know that we are the ones who bought him presents and it wasn't conditional on behavior--or lack thereof, in his case. Of course, I won't be so mean because he can't keep a secret, so it would ruin it for a lot of little kids in his class.

Part of me still believes in Santa, too...It's more about the spirit of the holiday, and that is symbolized through Santa.

11/16/2007 10:52 PM  
Blogger Mamacita (Mamacita) said...

It was two chapters in "Little House on the Prairie" that helped me explain Santa Claus to my children when they were in the third and fourth grades: "The Christmas Horses" and "Mr. Edwards Meets Santa Claus." In fact, those chapters helped me, too!

11/16/2007 11:08 PM  
Blogger Adeline said...

I love the last line of this post. It is so true and I love to hear other people say it sincerely. It is also hard to get there too often.

i.e. do I bring cookie for my colleagues and principals because I love them? Of course not, I do it because I want to give them happy feelings in their mouth from me, for goodwill. I want to make a good impression.

11/16/2007 11:55 PM  
Blogger ms-teacher said...

when my oldest was in 6th grade, she came home and said we needed to talk. Thinking the worst, she asked about Santa Claus. Like your daughter, at 11, I think she kind of knew the reality, but she still wanted to believe. So, I asked her what she had heard at school. I then explained to her that I believed in the magic of Christmas and what that meant to me as a mom.

Kids really do have a strong desire to believe in these things. I never came right out and said that Santa wasn't real. She understood by our conversation that it was up to her to believe in the magic of Christmas, but that perhaps the man himself didn't come to deliver the presents.

11/17/2007 12:03 PM  
Blogger Drake said...

This is exactly how I feel about Santa. I think I was also in the 4th grade when I finally let myself stop believing. ZD on the other hand is one of those who thinks it is lying to your kids. He has however agreed to hold his tongue about Santa for my sake.

11/25/2007 8:04 PM  

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