This s@#$ never happens to Martha Stewart
Here is my attempt at some Harvest decor. The squirrels seem to think that these little pumpkin gourds are tasty and that my porch is the Old Country Buffet.
This is what it's supposed to look like:
Charming, no? The small gourds and small white pumpkins are from the neighbors' bumper crop resulting from throwing last years' rotting gourds into their backyard. Too bad the damn squirrels like them, too. We live on freaking Oak Lane, for the love of God- there are more than enough acorns to sustain them. Why they gotta eat my porch bling?
It's times like these when I fear I have turned into this guy: