A Letter to a Young Spanish Student
Dear Esteemed Students of Mine:
It is with great irritation that I write the following to you. It could be construed by some as a "laundry list" of bullshit that I am fed up with. I, on the other hand, prefer to think of it as a rant.
1. Accent marks? are not optional. You see them. They tell you where stress syllables fall. I have told you all time and time again that they are necessary. You lose points for not having them or having them incorrectly placed. For the love of God, get it right!
2. Please stop texting during my class. You're like ocd with it- it's become a compulsion that you need to overcome. Are you saying anything of importance? Like, "OMG i just got that kidney ive been waiting 4". Uh, no. Plus, you're not getting away with anything. I see your hand in your hoodie. I see the damn phone on your chair next to your skinny leg.
3. "tener divertido" does NOT mean "to have fun". You've been given a perfectly sound, although stem-changing, verb, "divertirse". Use it.
4. Apostrophe "s" does not exist in Spanish. Quit using it.
5. "su" does mean "her", but only as a possessive adjective. It is not an object pronoun, as in "I like her." I don't care WHAT your dictionary says.
6. How about conjugating a damn verb every once in a while?
7. Putting "el" and adding "o" to the end of a word, as in "el barfo, el wrongo, el booko" is not funny. (except for the el barfo one, that does make me laugh.) Please stop doing it.
8. You are in Spanish 3 and 4. Stop looking at me like a deer in the headlights when I speak to you all in Spanish. In SPANISH. That's what we're learnin' here, people.
9. When I tell you to use 7 different verbs for a project, I don't mean use them 7 different ways. "Don't eat too much candy" and "Eat a balanced diet" both use the same verb, to eat.
10. Please stop putting your lack of planning and over-scheduled life on my plate. I should not have to adjust MY expectations because you have to work, attend practice, babysit, go to youth group, etc.
11. When did it become acceptable to come to school in your jammies and slippers on days other than Pajama Day?
Here ends the rant. Thank you all for listening. Now, straighten up and fly right!