Thirteen Signs That You Might Be My Asshole Co-Worker:
1. I catch you at the copier/printer reading what I printed despite that it has a "privacy" cover over it with my name clearly printed at the top.
2. You bad-mouth several other teachers, proclaiming that they are not up to par. You also spend an inordinate amount of time telling your students how "unprepared" they are, insinuating that the rest of us have done a shit job of teaching.
3. Your A term class of 26 is whittled down to 11 for B term. Not just once, but every. single. year.
4. You look remarkably like this man.
5. You swiped a co worker's quiz that contained an error that could have just been a typo and took it with you to a state conference to show everyone what you have to deal with.
6. You threw a hissy fit several years running because you didn't get to teach the classes you wanted. You only wanted to focus on the "upper levels".
7. You take every opportunity to toot your own horn.
8. You hid 50 textbooks in your classroom, claiming that you didn't know where they were when another colleague needed them, then played dumb about it.
9. You don't attend department meetings, then ask everyone in the department what's going on.
10. When you do attend inservices or other meetings we are all required to attend and you don't want to be there, you pretend that have diarrhea, announcing it to anyone who accidentally makes eye contact with you.
11. You have pissed off enough parents that they refuse to have their children subjected to your insanely rigid classroom expectations.
12. You are slowly killing our program because kids really don't want to have you for a teacher, opting to stop at Spanish 1 or 2.
13. You are only capable of or you very arrogantly choose to teach to the top 5% of students, leaving everyone else in the dust.