Ten Things Tuesday
Ten Things We Say at La Casa de T that no one else understands:
1. "Oh, Hitler!" / "Hitler! Did you do that?" This is in reference to a bit on Conan. They were showing what Hitler's childhood was like- they did it in "Leave it to Beaver" style and had some dopey kid play the title character.He got into all kinds of mishaps- spilling his milk, breaking the neighbor's window while playing catch. The tagline was him shrugging and then grinning into the camera and saying "That's why they call me Hitler!"
2. "Fuck you, Library Lady!" Of course we don't say this in front of the girls, and it's not something we say to each other, just as a reaction to a situation. It's from a story that a colleague told about a boy in our district who, unfortunately, was killed. All the teachers who had had him were telling stories and our librarian told this gem: She was working with the sixth graders in the library , when this stray little boy, a kindergartner, wandered in. She stopped in the middle of her presentation to ask him, "James, can I help you? Where are you supposed to be right now?" He curled his lip, gave her a look from hell and said in his meanest 5 year old voice, "Fuck you, Library Lady!" and stormed out of the library just as fast as his little velcro shoes could carry him.
3. "so and so's" Cabana Boy- This is in direct reference to a pain in the ass my husband used to work for. She really did treat him like the cabana boy, only without any of the sexual undertones.
4. "White folks wouldn't let us join their wagon train, so we made our own!"- of course , from Blazing Saddles. We say this if we are making fun of someone who has gotten their undies all in a wad about something dumb.
5. "Eight thirty!"- what we say in response to "Say when!"
6. "Blah- Blue"- what Mr. T called Pepsi when he was a wee tot. We don't know why.
7. "Eight dollars and forty six cents, Albino!" - we use whatever price that fits the situation. It goes back to my college days. I had a roomate who told this story about how she and a friend got a case of the raging giggles and started adding "Albino!" to the end of every sentence. I'm sure it involved them seeing an overly pale person and getting the giggles as only a teenaged girl can. Try it. I'm sure you'll laugh.
8. "Who gonna get on who?" - we use this to talk about illicit teen sex. I know, yuck. It's from an awful note that was confiscated when I was teaching middle school. Some skanky girl wrote about her adventures with some equally skanky boy. We were all pretty grossed out.
9. If we hear of someone having had surgery, we usually ask each other if that person had their spine removed, not as commentary on that person's ability to stand up for him or herself, but as a reference to my brother-in-law's mother-in-law. She's not the brightest crayon in the box. Years ago, she was just sure that someone in her acquaintance had had her spine removed. "Don't you think maybe it was her spleen?" they asked her. "No, I'm pretty sure it was her spine." (picture "Far Side's" Boneless Chicken Ranch... hee hee )
10. "Blow the Stink Off"- what needs to be done when you've been cooped up inside for too long. You need to get out and blow the stink off.