Here they come.....
Dear Helicopter Parents:
Yes, I mean YOU! You, who "hover", thus earning yourself the quippy title "Helicopter Parents". You, who have the greatest of intentions and want whatever is best for your child, as long as it means that they get good grades and possibly extra credit. Notice that I did not say "earn" good grades, because, while many of you pay lip service to the whole "getting vs. earning" of grades, the truth is that you desperately want your children to get All A's All the Time. You spend an inordinate amount of time looking at the online gradebook
we have been forced to use gladly employ so that you will quit asking us for an updated grade report every other whip-stitch for your benefit. You send me "concerned" emails when your kid's grade dips below the coveted and much more acceptable "A". You express "disappointment" because your kid was "doing so well". You wonder if your kid can do extra credit in a last-ditch effort to pull up the percentage points to the 90's. See, that way, it appears that your kid is doing really well in Spanish, when really, he's basically a B student with average language skills who could do much better if he studied more and didn't rush to get last night's homework done during the first 5 minutes of class.
Please loosen your apron strings a bit and let your kid earn the grade he earns. He's old enough to operate a large, gasoline-powered vehicle. I think he can handle his Spanish 2 class. It will be ok.
Very snarkily yours,